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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806156">if i had a heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/louser/pseuds/louser'>louser</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Invader Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Family Issues, Roleswap, Tak invades Earth, Time Skips, Zim is on Foodcourtia, more like Enemies to Partners to Friends to Lovers but eh, this is going to be more like a collection of related oneshots than anything just as a warning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:54:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,467</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/louser/pseuds/louser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dib’s new friend was an alien. He didn’t recognize this, of course, and Gaz was far from keen on helping him to do so, but it was true nonetheless. </p><p>Gaz wasn’t going to just let that happen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Background ZaDR - Relationship, Dib &amp; Gaz (Invader Zim), Gaz/Tak (Invader Zim), Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Beginenning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dib’s new friend was an alien. He didn’t recognize this, of course, and Gaz was far from keen on helping him to do so, but it was true nonetheless. It was fitting, really. Who else would choose to befriend her brother, unless they had no clue how human social interaction worked? </p><p>The alien’s name was Tak. Her so-called father ran a meat factory (the perfect cover), and she brought her service cat to school for reasons unstated, but it was obvious (to Gaz) that it was, in truth, a robot. She ate lunch with them without eating, played at recess with them without playing, and walked home with them every day as long as the sky was clear. She never stayed at their house long, and she never invited them back to her own home. </p><p>In most cases, Gaz didn’t care enough about what other people got up to to wonder at their intentions. If Dib decided to stay up all night working on some useless invention to help him capture banshees or whatever, it didn’t matter what had prompted him to embark on such a project, only that he didn’t keep her up in the process. Her father was afforded much the same treatment; when he was absent, when he cancelled plans or gave his excuses, she had no interest as long as she didn’t lose out on something she’d been looking forward to. That was the attitude you had to adopt in a family like theirs. It was best not to worry about the reasons people did things, just on the consequences of their actions. There was control that way. </p><p>Dib would be better off if he learned to live like Gaz did. The whole world would, probably. </p><p>The point was that Tak had managed to pique her interest- which was rare- enough for Gaz to wonder why she had come to Earth in the first place, so she decided to find out for sure. </p><p>Finding Tak wasn’t difficult. Gaz only had to go to the factory and walk past the guard on duty with enough confidence that he didn’t question her presence, then whistle in appreciation at the giant machine digging into the ground in the middle of the building. </p><p>“What are you doing here?” Tak’s voice was harsh as she stomped toward Gaz, her boots clanking angrily against the metal catwalk. Mimi, her (robot) cat, sat coiled to strike on her shoulders. </p><p>Gaz glanced back at the machine. The plan wasn’t too difficult to surmise: suck out the Earth’s molten core and replace it with something else. Ambitious. Strange. Ill-advised. A waste. </p><p>“I’m here to stop you now, I guess,” she answered, shoving her hands into her pockets. </p><p>Tak’s eyes flickered over to the machine as well before settling on Gaz. “How did you know?” </p><p>“I didn’t. I was wondering what brought you here.” Tak once again opened her mouth to speak, but Gaz simply shrugged her shoulders and continued before she could. “Your plan sucks, you know. It’s really stupid.” </p><p>“You can’t tell-“ </p><p>Gaz raised a brow, and Tak cut herself off with a growl. </p><p>“How did you know <em>I wasn’t human?” </em></p><p>“Nobody else knows, so who cares?” </p><p>“If my mission is-“ Tak growler again, but she recovered herself quickly and fiddled with a dial on her wrist until the image of her that Gaz was familiar with flickered and died out. In her place was a hairless, green-skinned creature with huge, grape eyes and curling antennae. If Dib were there, he would have been ecstatic. “I suppose it <em>doesn’t </em>matter. My plan is almost complete. Soon, there will be no more humans to fool. Mimi!” </p><p>The cat launched itself from Tak’s shoulder and stalked down the catwalk toward Gaz, movements growing clunky and disjointed as it advanced and morphed, transformers-style, into a small, red-eyed robot. </p><p>“Contain her until we are able to depart,” Tak commanded, turning away. </p><p>Gaz scoffed and reached into her pocket, pulling out a smooth metal disk that she tossed between herself and Mimi. The robot sparked from her joints and fell on her face. </p><p>“I said I was going to stop you,” she said, stepping over Mimi’s prone body. </p><p>Tak stopped in her tracks and whipped around in disbelief. </p><p>“It’s really annoying when people ignore me,” Gaz continued. “Don’t do it again.” </p>
<hr/><p>Dib’s new friend was an alien, and she wanted to take over the world. Gaz was not going to let that happen. </p><p>Earth was going to be Gaz’s to rule, and no one was getting in the way of that. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Know Thy Enemy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I’m going to Tak’s house today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib scowled as he held the door, mouth open as if to argue, or- even worse- insist on going along. Skool had already been a drag, and the release of the game that Gaz was looking forward to had been delayed until tomorrow. The last thing she wanted was to tote her brother along on a visit to her alien enemy’s house, where he would most definitely notice that something was off. Dib was dense, not stupid, and if he were to catch a whiff of non-human activity, he would be the one trying to get all of the glory for stopping Tak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a way, Gaz admired his tenacity, his lofty goal being only to be loved and not to be given power. It was cute… ish. A little annoying. But she could see where he was coming from. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz was smarter than that, though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re doing girl stuff,” she said, pulling off her backpack and shoving it into Dib’s arms. The door slammed shut as he scrambled to keep the bag from falling, hitting Torque Smackey in the face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ew.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. I’ll be home later.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have your keys?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just leave the door unlocked,” Gaz said, avoiding the question entirely. In all honesty, she had lost her house keys the week previous, when she and Tak had been fighting on the roof of her base. The keys had fallen over the edge and into the bushes, and while Gaz had no real animosity toward Tak, she doubted that her nemesis would let her scrounge around for them, even if she asked nicely. Which she wouldn’t. Gaz wasn’t the type of person who begged. And Tak was less than happy at seeing Gaz ever since their first battle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib agreed seemingly without much thought and began his walk back to the house. Gaz made sure to watch until he was out of sight, worried that he would turn around and try to follow her despite her cover. Though his interest rarely fell onto his sister, there were times when Dib got a bit overzealous when something confused him or piqued his interest. The last time he’d stalked her had been months ago, but Gaz still made a habit of constantly acting like she was shaking a tail, just in case. Once he was really and truly gone, she went her own way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Tak didn’t live too far from the school. It was a farther trek than their own house, sure, but considering that she obviously needed to be close to the meat factory, it wasn’t as far as it could have been. She could have planted the house right next to it, a good thirty minute walk away, but instead put it about halfway between the factory and the school. It gave Gaz enough time to start formulating a plan without making her legs ache. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Gaz approached the front door, she was surprised to see that Tak was already waiting for her, human disguise on and arms crossed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Gaz greeted her. She decided that the best course of action would be to pretend that nothing was strange about this interaction and entered the house without breaking stride. Tak didn’t try to stop her, but it wasn’t like Gaz had been expecting her to, anyways; it was obvious at this point that she would find a way in whether Tak attempted to keep her out or not, and there didn’t seem to be any reason to wait outside if she hadn’t meant to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>let </span>
  </em>
  <span>Gaz in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak followed her inside and closed the door softly behind them. MiMi, in cat form, slinked out of the shadows and brushed against Gaz’s legs as her master watched in distaste. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re early today,” Tak huffed as she took a seat on the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were expecting me,” Gaz replied, more a statement than a question, but Tak seemed to understand that she was being asked regardless. </span>
</p><p><span>“I installed cameras down the whole street,” she answered. “Better than being surprised</span> <span>all the time.” </span></p><p>
  <span>That was unfortunate. The element of surprise was useful when Gaz was trying to stop Tak from realizing some evil plot, but she could do just as well without it, she supposed, and maybe even rope Dib into helping her destroy the cameras at some point. Whatever. It wasn’t important at the moment, anyways. “Are we going to fight now or what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak shot her a look that was probably not meant to seem as tired as it did. “I don’t have anything for you to destroy today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you say so at skool? I walked all the way here for nothing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I felt like inconveniencing you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then thanks to that, I guess we really have to hang out now,” Gaz said as she grabbed MiMi and held her against her chest, feeling a surge of smug pride as a wave of mechanical purring began almost immediately. That was probably the best part about being nemeses with Tak: getting on MiMi’s good side meant that Gaz both annoyed her and got to spend time with a cat. “I’m not walking home yet. My poor legs are too tired. I might die.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Gaz’s surprise, Tak didn’t rise to the provocation. She had hoped that it would cause the other to fire back a quip of some sort and start a round of bickering at least, but Tak only huffed and pulled out a pad of paper and a pencil, which contained- much to Gaz’s horror- several lines of homework questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two months of fighting, of sabotaging each other at every step, and Tak was doing homework while Gaz stood in her house and petted her robot? Really? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like being ignored,” Gaz growled out, feeling as if it were about to become a mantra at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m busy,” Tak responded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have a test tomorrow. I have to make sure I understand the material.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz plastered a wide, venomous smile across her face and let out a tiny gasp. “Oh yeah, it makes complete and total sense that an alien bent on world domination is worried about flunking!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Tak glanced up from her work at Gaz. “Have you nothing better to do than antagonize me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. It would have been the most embarrassing thing in the world to admit, but the answer was no. When she wasn’t playing video games, the only thing to do was try and follow Dib around on whatever quest he’d set out for himself that day, and that never ended well for her. It wasn’t like her brother would ever indulge </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>in something that </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to do, and their dad was eternally locked away in that towering hub of scientific progress and child neglect, so yeah. Fighting with Tak was the only source of entertainment that she had outside of her GameSlave. And the sooner she defeated Tak, the sooner she could move on to her own plans for subjugating the planet. The sooner she did that, the sooner she would never have to be bored and lonely again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the point of doing homework when you could just take over the world before your test?” Gaz asked in place of an answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyes returning to the paper, Tak once again began to scribble down answers with impressive speed. “I need time to think of something good enough to defeat you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, so you’ve just been throwing spaghetti at a wall so far?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not!” Pen and paper were cast aside at once as Tak jumped to her feet. The sudden sound and movement caused MiMi to leap from Gaz’s arms and shift into her more obviously robotic form, looking between her master and the human as if waiting for orders of some sort. “I have been working hard to prepare this garbage planet for the Almighty Tallest! How dare you accuse me of wasting time with- with whatever that is!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz had exactly half the amount of energy that would be needed to inform Tak as to the meaning of the phrase she’d taken such offense to, so she chose instead to follow this new flow of the conversation. “Who's the Almighty Tallest?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak scoffed. “The leaders of the Irken Empire, and the most powerful beings in the universe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And they’re the ones who sent you here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s-“ Tak’s expression twisted all of a sudden, and she gave Gaz a quick, sharp shove away as she herself took a step backwards. “I don’t have time for this! MiMi, escort the human from the premises!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before anything could be done to stop it, Gaz had been dragged by the hand to the door and down the sidewalk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the walk home was spent sulking. Over the past few months, they’d made each other angry plenty of times and physically harmed each other no small amount, but nothing annoyed her quite so much as being treated like nothing but a small and inconvenient obstacle in Tak’s plans. They were equals, surely. In fact, Gaz was clearly the better mastermind of the two. Beating Tak was no longer a means to an end; it was personal now, a way to prove that she was a force to be reckoned with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A force who was now locked outside of the house because Dib had apparently forgotten to leave the door unlocked before taking off to do… whatever he was off doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Gaz was in charge, she was going to give everything face scanners.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Breaking Point</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First big time skip!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Two (Earth) years had passed since Tak had landed on this garbage heap of a planet, and she had nothing to show for it except for a paper that congratulated her on graduating from elementary to middle school and a growing feeling of frustration that made her develop a habit of grinding her teeth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alright, maybe the stupid piece of paper wasn't so bad. There was a sense of accomplishment tied to it, in a way, since it meant that she had managed to remain devoid of suspicion for so long, and it… it felt nice to be acknowledged for all of the work that she put in. Tests of knowledge weren't commonplace on Irk due to the fact that everything one needed to know was encoded into their PAK either at the time of their birth or their placement in the workforce, so the concepts that she had needed to learn in order to pass took more work than anticipated to remember. Gaz could needle Tak as much as she wanted, but studying was a completely foreign concept, and it really did take up much of Tak's time outside of invading. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did Gaz feel a sense of accomplishment when she was handed hers a year later? Or did she shrug her shoulders and let it gather dust in a box? Dib had been enchanted with his only long enough to have it looked over by his father, and then the sorry diploma seemed to have been all but forgotten for the rest of the evening, even being dropped unthinkingly to the floor as its owner grabbed for a cup of complimentary ice cream. It felt silly to have such an attachment to an object that the humans around her regarded as No Big Deal, but Tak found herself attached nonetheless, and she guarded the proof of her academic prowess with her life until it could be framed and hung in a place of pride on her living room wall. MiMi regarded it quizzically, but didn't ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was probably why it made her so upset. Two years with nothing to show for it but a diploma and desperation, and now the diploma was gone. It was gone and she had been the one to destroy it, but more importantly, it was</span>
  <em>
    <span> Gaz’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault that she had done it. Gaz had been the one dodging attacks, and Gaz had been the one throwing projectiles in retaliation, and Gaz had been the one to grab the framed diploma, and Gaz had been the one to throw it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Tak was going to be the one to kill Gaz. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killing her had been the plan from the start, but that had gotten muddled somewhere along the line. What was first only the desire to get rid of an obstacle turned into exhaustion as time went on, and when Tak grew tired of being tired, it became more of a puzzle; how could Tak try to outsmart Gaz this time? Would Gaz be able to think her way out of this or that? At what point did Gaz’s physical strength fail to Tak’s? As frustrating as the constant destruction of her schemes was, there was entertainment in the challenge. She liked pushing the human’s buttons. They both seemed to enjoy their dangerous dance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, though? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at the smoking remains of the one point of pride that she had in this sterile, foreign, </span>
  <em>
    <span>human </span>
  </em>
  <span>dwelling, Tak tasted blood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz seemed to recognize the change in Tak a moment too late, and she slammed against the wall with little resistance. Tak stabbed out with a PAK leg, not even caring about where it landed until she felt it lodge itself into the wall just a hairsbreadth to the left of Gaz’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you could have really hurt me there,” she groused, seemingly unperturbed by how close she had come to being stabbed, but when Tak looked down, she could see that Gaz’s fingers were shaking ever so slightly. “Where was this energy when I was ten and easier to kill?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were never easy to kill, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tak thought distantly. What she said was, “Why do you have to ruin everything?!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re trying to destroy my planet, remember?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care!” Tak yelled. All of the frustration began to bubble over as she stared into Gaz’s face, who didn’t even have the decency to show her fear. She couldn’t even let Tak have the satisfaction of seeing that, for once, she had won! “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care! This is my one chance, and you’re ruining it!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak clicked her mouth shut, but Gaz had already heard her statement in all of its incriminating glory and raised an inquisitive brow. “One chance at what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter! I’m going to kill you anyway!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you were going to do that,” Gaz told her slowly, reaching up with one hand to grasp the PAK leg that was still stuck threateningly next to her head, “it would have been just now, so why don’t you calm down a little bit?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one swift tug, the leg was free. Tak automatically began to retract it, but Gaz’s grip was iron, and Tak let it go slack with a growl. “Get out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always do this. As soon as we start actually talking about anything, you kick me out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to talk to you. You’re my enemy. Talking to you is the last thing I should do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could take a </span>
  <em>
    <span>stab </span>
  </em>
  <span>at it.” </span>
</p><p>Oh Irk. That wasn’t- that wasn’t funny. That wasn’t funny at all, but Tak could still feel a snicker building in her throat. “That was terrible, even for you.” </p><p>
  <span>“So you know the lows I’m reaching just to try and get you to talk.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Insufferable human,” Tak muttered, but by now she was beginning to calm considerably. It was probably obvious that the insult had no real bite to it. “Everything rides on this. If I don’t subjugate the planet for the Almighty Tallest, then I will be forced back into… an unpleasant situation. It is imperative that I prove my worth. But now that I have been sidetracked for so long, that is probably the outcome, regardless.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz let out a short “hm” of acknowledgement. “Sorry for slowing you down, I guess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t mean that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really, but it felt like the nice thing to say.” At Tak’s less than pleased expression, Gaz turned her ever-neutral facade into a grimace. “I’m just not very good at being nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made two of them, Tak supposed, but while Gaz seemed to hold some amount of regret over the fact, Tak didn’t really mind. If anything, the fact that Gaz was openly admitting to it was refreshing. This particular human was the only one that didn’t seem to have the same mushy feelings as the others around her, and the fact that she was just as socially inept as Tak felt was encouraging on two fronts. First, it meant that Tak didn’t stick out as much as she felt she did on account of her inability to feel in the same ways that her peers did. Second, it was familiar. It made Gaz feel almost irken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caught up in thought, Tak forgot to reply, and Gaz began speaking once more. “So, if you don’t take over the Earth, then you’re gonna get punished? Is that what I’m hearing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak shrugged helplessly. Not exactly, but not too far off either. Nothing sounded less appealing than fixing Gaz’s assumptions at the moment. That would mean detailing the humiliation that she had been forced to endure in being sent to Dirt, as well as the embarrassment of sinking to the point of begging the Tallest for a second chance. It was plain to see that they only sent her into deep and uninhabited space with the hopes that she would disappear and never bother them about it again, but… if she truly could bring a planet to heel where she was expected only to fail, wouldn’t that prove her worth as an invader? Wouldn’t they </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>to see her prowess and her drive? Whereas if she returned with nothing… being sent back to janitorial duties on Dirt would be horrible in and of itself, but if they decided to punish her insubordination… “Regardless, we are diametrically opposed. I must invade, and you must defend. There is no point in getting… chummy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, totally. I’m going to go home now.” Gaz released Tak’s metal leg and bent over to gather the objects that had fallen out of her backpack over the course of their fight, acting as if it were the end of a study session as opposed to the closest encounter she’d yet had to death. Books and pencils were dropped into the cloth contraption with swift yet uncaring motions until it was once again filled to the brim, and Gaz stood with both hands gripping the straps as it hung over her shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was such an unexpected display that Tak could do nothing but watch until Gaz was reaching for the doorknob. “I still have an army of robotic birds downstairs that you have yet to fully destroy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah.” Gaz turned back to her only briefly, shrugging. “Hold off on that until tomorrow. I’ll be here after school.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Proposal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the wait! Next chapter shouldn’t take as long.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I can’t believe we only have one more year of middle school,” Dib said, pushing the strangely mottled mass of mashed </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> around on his plate. “After this year ends, obviously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is a strange thought,” Tak replied. She doubted that his ponderings on the matter arose from the same place as her own, but it was nice to hear it echoed regardless. The idea of being a high schooler, of having been on Earth for so long that that felt like an achievement, was- for lack of a better term- really freaking weird. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could tell that Dib was waiting for her to say something more, but there wasn’t much else to say. It wasn’t like he would understand that particularly trajectory of thought. When she was silent, he nudged her with an elbow. “What’s up with you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak paused for a moment longer. What could she say that she could actually speak with him about? “I’m thinking about your sister.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That much was true. Ever since their strange exchange the previous afternoon, Gaz had been somewhere in the back of Tak’s mind no matter what she did. And why wouldn't she be? Tak had messed up, had let slip something that she should not have, and had been met with the most illogical reaction imaginable. What was Gaz concocting? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, it’s really not cool that you guys hang out without me so much. You were my friend first.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak pulled a face involuntarily. “She’s not my friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what- oh. Um. Okay.” Dib looked crestfallen suddenly, like she’d said something profoundly disappointing. “So I’m just going to be third-wheeling forever now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak hadn’t known that Dib had wheels, but she refrained from asking where they were hidden or why they were relevant to her rivalry with Gaz. She didn’t like to feel foolish, nor did she like to endanger her cover, and she had found herself humiliated by such simple questions more often than not. The ensuing punishments that she would inflict on whoever dared to embarrass her were entertaining at times, but never enough to fully make up for it. “If I have been neglecting you, we can spend more time together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib’s eyes lit up. “Really?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wouldn’t do to ruin her one positive relationship on Earth over something she didn’t quite understand. If Dib needed more social interaction in order to keep up the facade of friendship, then she could oblige. Of course, it would cut into her already busy schedule, but Tak was nothing if not good at organizing her time. “Starting tomorrow. I have plans today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you do,” Dib said sourly. “Gaz said the exact same thing this morning.” </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>One of the birds whirred to life as Gaz stared at it, admiring Tak’s handiwork and attention to detail. It’s appearance wasn’t too far off from the real deal, maybe just a little stiff and heavy for any bird to reasonably be, but it wasn’t as if there would be many people able to notice. In Gaz’s experience, humans had trouble with noticing anything outside of their narrow focus at any given moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All in all, this wasn’t Tak’s worst plan. In fact, many of Tak’s schemes were phenomenal, and in the absence of a worthy adversary, she most likely would have been able to take over the planet already. That was why Gaz’s own plans had taken a sharp left after their last battle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here was the thing. Gaz’s goal could be achieved in several ways, and they didn’t necessarily have to be solitary. In fact, it could be beneficial to have someone helping her out, having her back. That person would have to be capable. She would have to know going in that they were on the same level, and who was more Gaz’s equal than Tak? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some part of her may also have felt… bad… about Tak’s whole sob story, too. Destroying the irken’s plans had been cathartic when it was a necessity and fun when it was a game, but now that she knew it was a matter of life and death for her foe, it wouldn’t feel the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz was a pusher. She pushed people, and she pushed limits, but there was always a reason for it. She was sure that she never went too far; her punishments always fit the crime. Her teasing was never more than a person could conceivably handle- Dib was living proof of that!- but playing around with Tak the way that she did when their motivations were so vastly different felt more like bullying now. She didn’t like the thought of teasing someone with their safety on the line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you almost done, or am I going to have to watch you play with my electronics all night?” Tak watched Gaz from across the room, out of her disguise and spinning idly on an alien-looking computer chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz turned away from the robot, which had begun to preen itself under her gaze. “We should team up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak blinked twice in quick succession before raising a hand to her head and holding it at her brow bone, eyes falling- and staying- closed. “I don’t want your pity.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not pity.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I don’t want to get myself killed,” Tak scoffed. “I’m not going to protect the Earth, if that’s what you’re asking. If the Tallest decide that they want this planet even without me, then they will get it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What an insult. “No. We’re going to take over the Earth together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re joking.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be pretty funny, but no.” Gaz took a step forward, hoping that it looked appropriately serious. “Look, that’s kind of been my goal from the beginning. You were just going to beat me to it, and that wasn’t cool. There’s the whole destroying the planet to make way for your leaders thing, too, which obviously can’t happen, but I’ve got a separate plan that works for both of us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Gaz was scared (or, uh, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared- </span>
  </em>
  <span>she didn’t get </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared- </span>
  </em>
  <span>maybe more </span>
  <em>
    <span>apprehensive) </span>
  </em>
  <span>that Tak was going to refuse her again. If that was the case, Gaz would still thwart her at every turn, but it just wouldn’t feel right. Against all odds, she liked Tak, and she didn’t want to fight a one-sided battle with uneven stakes. Luckily for her, Tak seemed to mull over her words before replying. “And what is this plan?” </span>
</p><p>Ha! Progress! This was the furthest the two of them had gotten in a conversation about anything important. Tak had a nasty habit of sharing personal information and then deciding that it was useless to delve into it, so actually letting Gaz try and convince her of a plan that would solve the problem brought up the previous night was a step forward for them. “I’ll have to take over the planet first.”</p><p>
  <span>“And you want my help with this?” Tak asked, disbelieving. Her right eye twitched angrily. “So that you can trick me and discard me when I have served my purpose? Please. I’m not that foolish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, but I couldn't.” Gaz tried her hardest to affect an innocent and sincere facade. She’d thought ahead for this exact scenario, just in case Tak needed extra persuading that she had some sort of upper hand in this partnership. “You’re too close to my dear brother. Who knows what you could do to him if I made you angry enough.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what do I get out of this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah, the million dollar question. Why not continue this little dance? Why not kill Gaz right now and take over the Earth without her greatest obstacle? “You said yourself that you took too long to take over the planet. I’m giving you an excuse as to why. If you gained my trust and helped me, you could just say you were playing the long con instead of trying and failing for two years.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Tak was trying not to show interest, Gaz knew she was contemplating the offer. Maybe she didn’t realize that Gaz had grown used to the body language that she used in her irken form, that her twitching antennae and drumming fingers were a dead giveaway. Then again, maybe she was close enough to agreement that it didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Maybe, maybe, maybe. Gaz had never been a big fan of uncertainty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Tak let out sigh. “And when we succeed?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>if. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They were practically partners already. This part, however, would be the trickiest of her offer, not because Gaz had nothing compelling to give, but because it involved lying. “Then your leaders can do whatever they need to do with the planet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, there are conditions. As long as everyone doesn’t have to die, we’re good. And I still want to be involved in whatever plans they have for this place.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tak’s thoughtful tics stopped all at once. Without them, Gaz found herself at a loss for what the irken could be thinking. An agonizing minute passed, and then another, and then Tak rose from the chair. Kicking it back and away, she crossed the room with a stiff, measured stride and held out one hand in Gaz’s direction. “We have a deal.” </span>
</p>
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